Par For The Coarse

To good health!

Sitting here sipping a coupe of the effervescent French stuff. My sick bed is now a distant memory. It's so nice to wear normal clothes again. I was beginning to feel like Hugh Hefner, in my PJs and silk dressing gown, although minus the bimbos. The lovely Miss B did come and occasionally mop my brow when the coast was clear, but she would cut off your crown jewels if you dared call her a bimbo!

Prior to my recent death throes, the Duchess and I were invited to dinner at my aunt's rather lovely country pile. Hardly ever see the old girl and barely knew anyone there. A proper black tie affair. We started with cocktails on the terrace in the chilled autumnal evening air. Then, over some wonderful food we told ridiculous jokes and dissected the current state of Britain (more of that later). What was nice was that, of the twelve people around the table, there was an interesting blend of old and young, posh and not-so-posh, as well as several nationalities thrown in. It makes for more varied conversation.

I must say that everyone was beautifully attired. We had a very funny discussion about the way us Brits dress. The foreign contingent was actually quite indignant about the slovenly appearance of British people at airports or in the street. Perhaps they come to live in the UK looking for the fantasy that they know from films and books? The foreigners and the not-so-posh ones also took the upper classes to task for trying to dress like Joe Bloggs! I'm sorry to say it but they are right (although they did kindly absolve me of any such sartorial crimes!). The upper classes should start dressing in a way that bloody befits them, as their fathers did before them!

I simply aore the charms of Mayfair but Britain today can seem like Dante's Hell. On an almost daily basis one is shocked by the appalling rudeness and the loutish behaviour of so many people in public places. The Duchess and I were taking a train from Euston one afternoon last week when six young men with bulging biceps and tattoos sat near us (sadly, there was no first class coach). We were forced to move due to their inane, expletive-ridden 'conversation' shouted all over the carriage. I have too many examples and will not bore you with them. In the past, it was enough to remind such types that there were ladies present. Such chivalry can nowadays have grave consequences. Even our politicians - the ones who make the rules - are corrupt and dishonest. Who can forget the drunken bar brawl in Parliament recently? Lord save us.

Our society is in sharp decline and something must be done to arrest it.  There are kind, decent and hard-working people amongst every social class. We must all be free to live our lives without daily fear of crime, violence and abuse. It should not be a luxury. When socialising, no sensible person wants to be sat near a table of foul-mouthed imbeciles. I predict that new members' clubs will soon start sprouting up everywhere and that existing clubs' waiting lists will see unprecedented growth. What else can one do?

This old Duke is absolutely in dire need of a holiday. Flying first bloody class! Somewhere warm, exotic and rather peaceful.

More anon.

The Duke of Snarlborough x