Harry Windsor. Quite the boy. Now, I'm no saint, as you know, but I must say that I'm terribly unimpressed with his antics in Las Vegas. Despite his connections, despite his top drawer education, despite his being a military officer, despite his obligations to the British taxpayer, he really has no class at all. What a bloody chav!
The main problem is that his tawdry behaviour reflects on us all in the eyes of foreigners. Think of Berlusconi! That little sh*t ruined people's estimation of Italy and all those who voted him into power. Think of the ragbag Monaco Royals. Harry is third in line to the throne and has already undertaken ambassadorial duties overseas. He is representing Great Britain. Every single bloody day!
It's H.M. The Queen that one feels most sorry for. She has spent 60 years garnering respect and admiration from around the world for our dear country. Harry would be well-advised to remember that.
Las Vegas is surely the last place on earth that a person of any style or taste would want to be seen dead in. I must say, strip poker is a game for people of low intelligence or dubious character. It lacks any trace of class or sophistication. I may have done a few rakish things in my time but I'd like to think it did them with a dash of elegance and panache, my dears!
A few tips to those who need them:
1. Bum chums. My generation kept things private. For example, I had a few close homosexual friends in my time but it was never even mentioned by any of us. Simply irrelevant. Far more stylish, don't you think? Nowadays, all the furtive fun must surely have gone out of being gay. EveryTom, Dick and Fanny is out and proud! Less Elton 'n' David, more Brideshead please.
2. Sober up. If one overindulges on the sauce one should try their damndest to affect an air of nonchalent and dignified sobriety. Often comical to witness, but to be openly sozzled in elegant company is simply not done! Young types take note.
3. Treat the mistress well. Extra-marital affairs should always be conducted with impeccable discretion and style. One must avoid making false promises to one's mistress. However, she must be treated to sumptuous dinners, expensive hotels and a life of naughty indulgences. Why bother, otherwise?
You see? We each of us have our little weaknesses and imperfections. All that's required is a little restraint and a little discretion. One needn't be 'To The Manor Born' to follow these rules of life.
More anon
The Duke of Snarlborough x
PS. The Duchess has just spilt coffee all over my cherished copy of James Sherwood's book on Savile Row. Trying desperately to sound sanguine. 'Don't you worry, dear!' Silly woman. Oh well, I'll replace it asap and then whisk Miss B off for a frolic in the country! (See tip no 3).
