Lords, ladies and lady-boys,
I offer you my immense gratitude for your indefatigable patience. I've been rather a busy boy, you see. A takeover deal here, a soiree there and numerous indiscretions to brush under the Persian rugs.
Mayfair. This morning. There I was strolling over to Trumper's in Curzon Street in the bright sunshine feeling truly at peace with the world. Queen's Diamond Jubilee Union Jacks wherever one looks and a unique feeling of 'Britishness' in the air. Believe me, over the past week I have never seen so many club ties, blazers and cravats in my life! Not sure that the ladies have hit their stride yet, though. Must do better methinks.
We ate Italian last night. However, I do seem to have a rather chronic case of uncontrollable flatulence. What a bore! Angela Hartnett's fault. Love her grub but, my word, this could lead to the divorce courts.
Ah yes, the wife. I made a solemn promise to myself to think about her at least once per week. One would not call it a marriage of convenience but we did indeed marry and it was immensely convenient. Haven't rogered her in years but, hell, I've grown accustomed to her face....
From good landed gentry stock, she hunts, shoots and has Cecconi's on speed dial. Good turn of leg, pert bosoms and she can tie a Hermes scarf a hundred ways. Can't cook to save her life, but I'm not unduly concerned about that as I'm goosing the cook. I sometimes wish I'd married for love but think of all the wonderful affairs that I'd have missed out on.
I type this from my bed, surrounded by large squidgy pillows, as I watch the French Open on television. Had two prime tickets for Roland Garros and the Eurostar booked. Unfortunately, the Duchess and I had an unusually large quarrel and that meant au revoir to our little trip.
Life really loves to make fools of us all, dear friends. What are tribulations without trials, after all? There, in all the far scattered corners of the Universe, one always finds grandeur and grit travelling together on their endless journey.
Never mind. All being well, the Duchess and I will soon be off for a week on a friend's yacht around Italy and the Mediterranean.
More anon.
The Duke of Snarlborough
